Dating with PSSD

I figured I would start the first thread for this area. Basically I want to get peoples thoughts on dating with PSSD. So much of the stuff I find written about relationships with sexual dysfunction is aimed at men over 50's who are married. Many suffers are young men (and women) who are still single, myself included. What are people's thoughts and experiences dating and forming new relationships with PSSD.

Please share your experiences. Has it been a problem? Were you able to find understanding partners? If you are the partner of someone with PSSD I would also love to hear from you. I think while we all want a cure we should also learn to cope. Most of those who have recovered decided to chance a new relationship. Hopefully this thread can help those trying to figure this out.

Okay now for my own personal experience. I have only started to date again recently. The first time I attempted sex was quite awkward because I wasn't able to get an erection at all. The same with the second time. Finally the third time I was open with the girl told her about PSSD, and also took a cialis to help. I was able to get an erection that was partial but good enough for penetration although I lost it during the act.

The girl to her credit was incredibly supportive, and kind. I was so nervous of someone being mean to me about this. This relationship didn't end up working out for other reasons, but its good to know some women can be understanding. I think the biggest thing I did to help was try to still let myself be as intimate as possible, and do as much as I can to please her. I still really enjoyed the touch and being close.

On a related note, being close like that to someone releases oxytocin. Also there may be other hormones and neurotransmitters involved. It is my honest belief that forming new love relationships may help in the healing process. I hope that I will again find an understanding girl in the future, one that is actually compatible with me and my interests as well. Dating with PSSD is hard, but I think it could be as effective if not more effective then taking different supplements in aiding in our recovery. Also love is not just about sex, and I want love in my life again.

My main problem was finishing, the erection issues would come and go. Usually I could keep it hard enough to stay in. A lot of girls are not understanding about that. Part of the problem was that I wasn't even sure what the problem was. I'm married. I've been married twice actually. The first wife was kind of young, so that was the main problem. After that I had a better idea what I needed though. Usually I would just go with it and hope they would understand that things didn't always work the way I wanted them to. Most of my dating experience was when I was young. I got together with my first wife in mid 2001, and then I was with 3 different people (2 were very short term for unrelated reasons) in between my first and second wife. One thing that is important is that there is more to sex than intercourse. So you just have to do other things too, that helps ease a woman's tension.

Sonny wrote: One thing that is important is that there is more to sex than intercourse. So you just have to do other things too, that helps ease a woman's tension.

I agree with this. I think intimacy is as important or more important than penetration for many women (not all, we're all different after all). One of the biggest complaints I have seen of women with partners with ED is that they withdraw from the relationship and from intimacy. We can still be intimate. My erection problem is worth than yours but if I try enough different things (like rings for example) perhaps I can make it manageable. Anyhow I still really love being with a woman, petting, fingering, getting her off. I really miss getting to have very vigorous sex with a woman but I try to focus on the good.

.. good luck.

It puts so much tension on a relationship, though. I just started dating a guy (long-distance-relationship on top of things). And I have a hard time with the guilt-thing. It's so terrible to watch them do their best (especially when it comes to oral sex) and not to be able to react to it, properly. It's so frustrating for everyone involved. And even if we say: "Well, you can talk about it", honest communication, etc. - a part of that will always remain.

Yea, it definitely causes tension. I've had the same problems.